Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Atonement

Atonement

    As I consider the atonement I have found the best way to describe it is to create a mental image;
We find ourselves on this Earth, it is an interesting place, filled with laughter, family friends, joy, but also pain, heart ache, trial and tribulation. We are blessed to have physical bodies that can experience so much, but we are mortal. We are subjected to illness, temptation, injury, and pain of so many kinds, we experience endings of all kinds, and we hurt. I don't think there is a person on this planet who is exempt from that.
     We know, and have heard of a place though that is much like this place we have now, in that we will have our bodies, we will have our families, it will be a place though so much better as we will be free from pain and suffering and we will not only be with those we love forever, but we will also be with God. This is a place beyond perfection.
     BUT there is a problem, there are two massive obstacles (I tend to picture them as giant towers!) that we must overcome in order to make it to that wonderful place we will call eternal life.
     The first obstacle is related to these great bodies we have, it is physical death. We know our bodies age, they get sick, they get hurt and broken and worn out, and eventually they day. This poses a problem because in this ideal eternal life situation we would like our bodies!
     The second obstacle is also a big deal, it is spiritual death. We all make mistakes, we all sin, part of this mortal life is learning from our mistakes, but it poses a different sort of problem because we understand that no unclean or imperfect person can live with God, and that puts a huge damper on this making it to eternal life thing.
     So the question remains, how do we overcome these two massive obstacles of physical death and spiritual death? I want you to imagine a remarkable bridge that forms the path that overcomes these two massive towers. That bridge, or path, is the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
     When Christ was in the Garden of Gethsemane He suffered for our sins, he paid the price, experienced the punishment and took upon him each and every mistake and sin we have ever made so that we would not have to suffer the price. It was there that he overcame the obstacle of spiritual death for us. From there he was taken to the cross on Calvary and was crucified. On that cross he died, and three days later he rose from the tomb and came forth with a perfected body. In Christ's resurrection he overcame death, paving a way so we could do the same.
     I would also like to add that in this atonement, Christ also felt our pains so that he would know exactly how we felt, and as a result would know exactly how to help us. Alma 7:11-12 reads
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."
It is possible, through Christ, to overcome those obstacles and to make it to a place where we can live with those we love again. It is through His atonement that we can find peace in knowing we will be reunited with those we love and cherish, and we can know that there will be many great surprises.
I am so grateful for this knowledge, and for my Savior Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for His love and for the love of my Heavenly Father, because it is through that love that all of this is possible.


















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Finding Distractions

I find myself looking for distractions constantly. I fear the time I have alone with my thoughts because then it hits me. It is then I realize that all that I do is too much, that I am insufficient, and that I don't think I have the strength to move forward day after day. But if I don't confront these fears, if I don't allow myself time to think than I can move forward. I can take everything one step at a time. So that is what I do. I don't think about how I have lost one of my best friends, the only grown-up I had left in my home. I don't think of the fears and concerns and hardships that come with raising 2 children, who have already experienced so much pain and suffering in their short lives. I can't think of my parents, who have fought a long fight but who are reaching the end of their time. One is never truly prepared to become an orphan, and I fear that it is my turn all too soon. So I turn to stupid television shows, book on tapes, pinterest, social media, anything to dull the sound of my own thoughts. It seems to be the only way to survive. I know it's not sustainable, but at this point I don't know what else I can do. I'll be back later, maybe, but I guess that would mean I'm ready to acknowledge these things again. So hey, it might be a while.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

An Udate

Time
     Some time has passed since I have last written here. There haven't been words to describe the emotions of all that has transpired over these past 9 months. There are hardly even words. I am a mom now. But I also have the title of sister to these kids. I am only 24. But I also have the knowledge and experience of someone twice my age. I am still Scooter. But Esther seems to become more fitting. I am their daughter. But I have to parent them, and care for them.  I have had legions stand by my side. But I have also never felt so alone.
     As my father has gotten sick, so many things have changed. I have changed. I do believe I am better than I was a year ago, but I am also so much more worn out. My hope is that with just a bit more time, I can figure a few more things out, and we will all be alright.